Videogum On Sesame Street Straight Ruining Children

Whoops! All the kids are ruined. Oh well. Kids, of course, are stupid, and so they have no way to recognize this is bad for them. They probably think it’s good, those idiots, LOL. Which is why, unfortunately, we have to round up every child who has seen this and throw them in the river. SORRY! It’s for their/our own good, so that they don’t grow up to perpetuate a culture in which is acceptable. It’s a total bummer, I agree. But the cool thing about kids is that we can always make more of them. And it might even be fun to do so! (Gross.) R.I.P. all those kids.

Oh, quick sidenote to maybe your half-lidded eyes and general air of boredom will fly on the CNN holodeck, but you are on Sesame Street now, sir, so out of respect, how about you stop looking like you’re performing court-appointed community service you fucking cunt. (Thanks for the tip, Scott.)