That’s Your Girlfriend: Gas Station Robbery Eyewitness

“I know that no one is perfect, and that the key to a long and successful relationship is a combination of compromise, realistic expectations, and patience, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice everything you’re looking for in a partner. It’s still important to have some idea what you’re looking for. Personally, I’d like to find a middle-aged woman with leather face, coffee breath, and the sickly yellowing nails and raspy death rattle voice of a lifetime indulging in an aggressive nicotine addiction who does her grocery shopping at gas stations and whose dad taught her right. She has long hair with which to cover her face, in the event that she is confronted by an armed gunman. And she knows how to back it up.” –You.

I know I was a little hard on this woman’s perceived socio-economic condition and face situation, but the truth is, the REAL crime is that she isn’t called upon to bear witness to EVERYTHING. Very good witness! She’s like the white Antoine Dodson! Poor people are so colorful! (Via Dlisted.)