That’s Your Gubernatorial Candidate: Basil Marceaux

“I’m a simple man/woman with simple needs. These days, a lot of the talk in Washington gets so noisy and confusing. Some of us real folks are just out here trying to live our lives and put food on our families. When I go to the voting booth this fall, I want to cast my vote for someone who reflects my values, and those values are the same values we all share: to revoke any requirement for a license or permit to own a gun so that if someone shoots someone else, they won’t go to jail, they will get murdered (?). I would also like a candidate who pledges to plant grass across the state on any vacant lot so that we can sell that land for [unintelligible]. Like most Americans, I, too, support a proposal to get rid of the goldfinch flags and replace them with a REAL flag with three stripes. And finally, will someone please stand up for an end to ALL TRAFFIC STOPS because something something cars? What’s that? The Republican candidate for governor in Tennessee, Basil Marceaux, is running on a platform consisting of all these campaign promises? I’m voting two times!”

FOUR MORE YEARS! (Thanks for the tip, Samir.)