Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

For the first time since the April 20th explosion aboard the Deep Water Horizon oil rig, BP is reporting that oil is not gushing out of a fucking hole in the ocean. This is great news! Sort of! I mean, who knows what is going on down there. Also, it seems like any second that bottle cap is going to pop right off and it’s going to be All Oil All The Time. But for now, a momentary reprieve! It’s going to make the barbecue taste THAT much better this weekend. “How could barbecue taste any better than it already does?” “By removing the guilt-based seasoning of a world in perpetual collapse, that’s how!” Yum. Enjoy!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of this week’s Orlando Bloom Honorary Degree Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 stonemill | Jul 14th Score:84

Being bored to sleep by The xx isn’t just for humans anymore.

Posted in: Birdie Falls Asleep
#3 facetaco | Jul 15th Score:84

“I’ve got 3.2 million dollars.”

- TomatoBank CEO

Posted in: Thank You, Danny Masterson, For Providing Us With This New Inside Joke
#2 spiff huxtable | Jul 14th Score:85

One can only assume that by “Mrs. Delahaye” you are referring to Gabe’s great-granddaughter on the couch.

Posted in: Birdie Falls Asleep
#1 topknot | Jul 14th Score:94

I’m very disappointed they didn’t call this “Devilevator.”

Posted in: So Just To Clarify: “From The Mind Of” Means “Garbage”, Right?

[Ed note: Very very good commenting this week, everyone. You are the mayors of commenting! #videogumsquare.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

thegreatsatan | Jul 14th Score:-78
i was waiting for tosh to come and smack that fucking dog in the face, and it didnt happen.


Posted in: Birdie Falls Asleep

[Ed. note: Oof. thegreatsatan got 4 out of 5 Lowest Rated Comments this week. So close to a full sweep, thegreatsatan. Between you and that commenter who kept changing their name very five seconds in the I Spit On Your Grave thread, the trolls came very close to running the asylum this week. A quick note on that thread, by the way: the people who are arguing that there is nothing offensive about the hyper-sexualization of rape are being ridiculous and cannot seriously think that.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

paperstreetsoap | Jul 13th Score:112

You have my sword.

And my and my axe.

And my Honorary Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Kent in Canterbury

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Orlando Bloom’s Honorary Degree

[Ed. note: Congratulations, paperstreetsoap. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

kob | 10:56am Score:5

Yes? No?

Posted in: This Picture Of Chace Crawford Is The Funniest

[Ed. note: Yes.]