America is a gigantic country, home to millions of people, and we don’t always agree on the way it should be governed. Heck! We RARELY agree, hahaha. But when it comes down to it, most of us do want the same thing from our elected leaders, even if we go about finding it in different ways. We want elected representatives that are honest and intelligent and working as hard as they can to make our country a better place. We want elected representatives who help people, and stand up for what they believe in, and who understand the complicated and conflicting needs of their constituents. But most of all, we want elected leaders who hire young white guys in visors and campaign t-shirts to record and perform impossibly awful campaign theme songs that sound like something a Wham! cover band diarrheaed out of their raw butts into the broken toilet after a night of bad seafood.
Well, the lucky Republicans of Florida’s 19th District have found that in incumbent candidate, Mike Weinstein:
Neat! I’m glad they inserted record scratch sound effects in case there are any black people in here. My favorite part, of course, is the footage recorded in front of a live audience. A night to remember! I’m sure the line to get into the club was around the block. Faces pressed to the glass. Windows all fogged up. People turned away at the door throwing themselves off of buildings.