Someone Finally Beats The Crap Out Of The Maroon 5 Dude

Supposedly, this is the music video for Maroon 5’s new (awful) song, “Misery,” but I think it is a documentary about THINGS YOU WISH WOULD HAPPEN FOR REAL.

I’m just kidding. I do not actually wish any personal injury upon Mr. Maroon. If I was walking down the street and someone pointed a bazooka at him I would be like, “Surely that’s a bit much!” But this band really is terrible at their jobs. It’s like a band made entirely out of Daniel Powters, except at least Daniel Powter had the courtesy to DISAPPEAR. (SIDENOTE: you guys, I’m worried about Daniel Powter. Has anyone checked on Daniel Powter recently?) What a terrible band. I can’t believe they are your favorite band and the only thing that you have on your Zune. I can’t believe you wish you could marry all of them.