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EXCLUSIVE: First Look At The Script For The Good Luck Trolls Movie (P.S. They Are Making A Good Luck Trolls Movie)

In Hollywood, the Holy Grail of movie projects is, of course, Bagel: The Movie. It is well-known around the city that whoever discovers the key of how to dramatize the exciting story of a bagel will be rich beyond his wildest imaginings. But until that elusive dream becomes a reality, the studios will have to content themselves by making movies out of other stupid inanimate shit. Like those troll dolls they sell in hospital gift shops. From the Hollywood Reporter:

The Good Luck Trolls, with their frizzy, pastel-colored hair, are coming to the big screen via DreamWorks Animation.

The troll doll was created in 1959 by Danish fisherman and woodcutter Thomas Dam, when he carved a doll based on Scandinavian trolls for his daughter Lajla. The toy line gained popularity in Europe and the U.S. during the early ’60s, becoming a fad embraced by kids and the counter-culture.

In striking the deal with DWA, Niels Dam, the dollmaker’s son who now owns the family business, said, “My father would have been very happy to know that his Troll has found its dream partner in DreamWorks Animation.”

I think we are ALL happy to know that his Troll has found its dream partner in DreamWorks Animation.

After the jump, an EXCLUSIVE first look at the script for the Good Luck Trolls movie!

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY

PINK TROLL is lying on the troll couch as his troll therapist in a troll lab coat takes troll notes on a troll clipboard.

THERAPIST TROLL
How did you deal with his death?

PINK TROLL
I shut down like a broken motor.

THERAPIST TROLL
Huh. And according to the Southern way, still no tears.

PINK TROLL
Oh, I cry sometimes, Trollenstein. I cry at weddings, at the Olympics. I’m real big at the national anthem.

THERAPIST TROLL
But not over Luke Troll?

PINK TROLL
What the hell for? It wouldn’t bring him back.

THERAPIST TROLL
No. But it might bring you back.

Pink Troll begins to shake with wild, manic laughter.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT

TROLL BAUER is backed up against the wall with SUSPECT TROLL in a headlock. He has a knife to Suspect Troll’s throat.

TROLL BAUER
Give me those launch codes!

Suspect Troll spits in Troll Bauer’s face. Troll Bauer slits his throat. White cotton pours down his chest. Troll Bauer just killed the one lead he had.

And scene.