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The Green Hornet Trailer Strikes Another Blow In The War On Superheroes

The Green Hornet trailer, you guys:

I like Seth Rogen, OK? And I like Michel Gondry, OK? And when this comes out in the theater next January, I will see it, OK? But none of those facts change another fact, which is that we need to cool it with the oddball, sarcastic, knowing, self-referential superheroes. Enough already! Bring back the actual superheroes! I want to imagine myself as a billionaire playboy superhero with wonderful toys as much as the next guy, no homo, and I am able to do so by watching a movie about actual superheroes. I don’t need to actually see myself up on the screen. “Oh, that guy doesn’t look anything like a superhero, just like how I don’t look anything like a superhero, and he, too, relies on his quick wit as an emotional defense mechanism to keep people from seeing the deep well of insecurity and emotional frailty that governs his erratic behavior and sometimes questionable life choices, just like how I do that. But also he can FLY.” No. I don’t need that. No one needs that. What is this 1994? I thought the age of cynically deconstructing our cultural touchstones had ended and we had transitioned back into an enlightened era of engagement and enthusiasm. Or WHATEVS.

Boo, winking meta-commentaries. Yay, Christian Bale!