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The Internet Finds Its Newest “Hero” In Zach Anner

Last week, Oprah launched an on-line contest to find the next Oprah, which is just CLASSIC Oprah. The winner of this contest will ostensibly get his or her own talk show on Oprah’s new network. OK! Hundreds of hopeful contestants have already uploaded their audition videos, which you can watch and vote on here. Not that your votes will matter, because one contestant, Zach Anner, has already pulled well ahead of the competition. He currently holds the lead by a MILE, with 2,581,892 votes. Also, he has cerebral palsy. Oh boy, here we go.

Zach Anner’s audition tape and some other thoughts and videos, after the jump:

Audition tape:

Of course, as with anything on the Internet, one’s initial assumption is that it is both fake and gay (and possibly retarded). But that does not seem to be the case here. As you can see, Zach Anner is genuinely funny. This is a great video! I hope he wins! But, you also have to admit that he is a confusing hero. Because of the Internet. I’m just saying: one of his main supporters over the weekend was the on-line community known as 4chan. (And also John Mayer.) And no offense to 4chan (or John Mayer), but I don’t trust 4chan (and I don’t trust John Mayer). OH YOU DON’T TRUST US, WELL NOW YOUR BLOG IS HACKED AND WE HAVE LASER PRINTED A PICTURE OF YOUR HEAD WITH A DICK FOR A NOSE ON THE BODY OF A WOMAN ONTO THE FACE OF THE MOON. Basically. That is what it is like with those guys. And smug, mildly racist, condescending, bored, rich, self-satisfaction is what it is like with John Mayer.

John Mayer thinks that the chair disappears when you express yourself. Whatever, John Mayer.

So, we are left with a conundrum. I mean, it is not a conundrum. Zach seems great, and this contest is ridiculous, and the world certainly doesn’t need TWO Oprahs but it could probably use ONE Oprah and ONE Zach Anner. He should have his own show. But it is always so hard to decipher and come to terms with the Internet’s motivations for anointing its stars. At the very least, we should KEEP AN EYE on this one.

But for now, let us root for Zach Anner. We should all be so lucky as to get a talk show in this world. (Via TheDailyWhat.)