To Catch A Falkor

Have a seat. Do you know who I am?

Would you like a glass of water? Now, mind explaining to me what you’re doing here? I see, and what, exactly, is “the Big Nothing”? You can’t defeat it without the help of a child? Of course you can’t. And the six-pack of beer? Oh, that was just for you? Right. Now, is being completely naked also part of defeating “the Big Nothing”? Excuse me, sir, don’t insult me. Sir, you absolutely can wear clothes. Just imagine some clothes on your body. That’s what I thought. Would you like a tissue? How many times have you done this? Oh please, I have a hard time believing this is your first time. And what exactly is that supposed to mean, “the book has been waiting for Bastian to find it?” Were the dirty instant messages you sent to our hired actor pretending to be Bastian_98, and I quote, “I want to die in your swamp of sadness,” also waiting for him to find them? You disgust me sir. You and Verne disgust me. (Thanks for the tip, Benjamin.)