Seinfeld Is Now A Crime Against Humanity, Basically

The New York Post reported today that the television show Seinfeld has made 2.7 BILLION DOLLARS since the show WENT OFF THE AIR. Um, that is bonkers. Here is the breakdown:

“Seinfeld” might be the show about nothing, but it’s also made an incredible $2.7 billion — with a “b” — since it went off the air 12 years ago, according to Time Warner, which owns the series.

The numbers indicate that reruns on regular TV have grossed $2.3 billion since 1998.

Revenues from cable were about $380 million, execs reported.

“Seinfeld” made 180 episodes during its nine-year run — which means that each half-hour episode has earned more than $14 million so far.

That does not include what the show — or its stars — made while the show was on NBC in its original run.

These guys are huge Seinfeld fans:

This show makes us forget our desperate need for medicine.

Look, I’m not a businessman. I can barely even manage having my own ATM Card. Nor am I a former Nobel Prize-winning economist like fictional president Jebediah Bartletts. I know that the world is a complicated place and that the global economy is an intricate system that balances precariously at the precipice of an enormous crossroads. The financial success of Seinfeld reruns is a teardrop in the ocean of the global money pool. That being said, considering how many millions of people live without potable drinking water, or access to education or medicine, who live in shanty towns built out of garbage in the dessicated borderlands of a foreign country that does not want them as they desperately attempt to flee some kind of genocidal war, it just feels kind of fucked up.

Says the guy who spends half of his day sitting in pajamas trying to think up jokes about Nicolas Cage’s tattered wigs and has been refreshing an Apple iPhone liveblog all afternoon.