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Ke$ha And 3OH!3 Doing Everything In Their Power To Ruin Summer

Summer is here! And that means beaches and barbecues and air conditioning and ice cream cones and swimming holes and roast beef sandwiches and alien invasion and sleepwalking and the Large Hadron Collider. But most importantly it means SUMMER JAMS. You guys know my passion for summer jams, you have seen it for yourself. I am like water for chocolate when it comes to summer jams. And so it is with the heaviest of hearts that I share with you the latest single from Ke$ha and 3OH!3 (whatever THAT is). It is called “My First Kiss,” and it is literally one of the worst things I have ever heard in my life. Let me put it this way, if I was driving my grandchild to the mall, and they put this on the cassette player in my car, I would commit grandchildicide. “This just sounds like noise to me. You know, when I was your age, I didn’t get murdered by my grandfather on the way to the mall uphill both ways!”

MORE LIKE “MY FIRST BARF,” RIGHT GUYS? Just kidding. It can’t be my first barf, because it isn’t the first Ke$ha song I’ve heard.