That’s Nick Madson’s Boyfriend: Brian Corman

Really? Just a couple of weeks after Nick Madson unapologetically performs 20 minutes of Patton Oswalt material to a packed (12 people) crowd at a Des Moines nightclub as if it is his original material, here comes Columbia University “General Studies” (whatever THAT means) Valedictorian, Brian Corman, boldly working Patton Oswalt material into his graduation day speech:

You can hear Patton’s original bit here.

Good speech! Good Valedictorian! This guy is definitely going to go very far. Seriously. He is going to go the farthest. Total champ. Him and Nick Madson are like, “Fist bump.” I hope he puts this on his resume. “Skills: Stand Up Comedy, Lying, Being an Asshole, Graduating.” In his defense, when I used to write for my Junior High School Newspaper (JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER! ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO ZITS!) I thought that it wasn’t plagiarism if you changed enough words around, so I would basically copy articles word-for-word from the local paper and just jumble the sentences. But I was in Junior High, and have always been pretty stupid. I was not considered the most exemplary student out of hundreds of exemplary students at an Ivy League University after completing a curriculum of rigorous academic study. So who is the clown now, Brian Corman? And before you answer that rhetorical question, remember this: we can BOTH be clowns. (Thanks for the tip, Becca and JCA.)

UPDATE: the video has already been set to “private”. SCANDAL! COVER UP! Doesn’t really matter, though. Just listen to Patton Oswalt’s bit and then imagine a child repeating it with an air of self-satisfaction, because that’s what happened.

UPDATE: A statement from Thief School Columbia after the jump:

It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.

Peter J. Awn
Columbia University School of General Studies

The School of General Studies of Columbia University is a liberal arts college in the United States created specifically for students with nontraditional backgrounds seeking a rigorous, traditional, Ivy League undergraduate degree full- or part-time. GS students take the same courses, with the same faculty, and earn the same degree as all other Columbia undergraduates. This year’s class of 230 graduating seniors participated in its Class Day ceremony on May 16 where the school’s valedictory was delivered. Two days later they joined some 12,000 other new Columbia graduates at the University’s main commencement exercises which do not include student or guest speakers.