Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

This is it, you guys. On Monday, we will know how it all ends. I’m talking, of course, about the final movie in the Shrek saga series finale of Lost. NOW I KNOW HOW TEENAGERS AND MILDLY LONELY MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN MUST FEEL WHEN THE NEW TWILIGHT COMES OUT. Just kidding. It’s the series finale of an increasingly confusing and outlandish television show that despite its many twists and turns has proved incapable of killing off Kate. Don’t get me wrong, I still am very much looking forward to Sunday night’s epic finale, which I am sure will finally answer all of my questions. And I’ve even got my fingers crossed that Kate will finally EAT IT. I’m just saying that I have this thing pretty well in perspective. And the way that teenagers and mildly lonely middle-aged women feel when the new Twilight comes out remains a mystery. WHAT’S IN THE TEENAGERS AND MILDLY LONELY MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN?! WE’VE GOT TO GO BLAH!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of this week’s Roman Polanski T-Shirt caption contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Notsewfast | May 18th Score:123

The screen printer never lived down their mistake when a translation error ruined the Warsaw city council’s ‘Ski Poland’ ad campaign.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Xavier Beauvois’s Cool New T-Shirt
#4 huckabeast | May 18th Score:129

In their defense, all men pointed out that they had pictures of underaged kids in their wallets.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Xavier Beauvois’s Cool New T-Shirt
#3 Funkles | May 19th Score:130

Keep decorously fucking that chicken.

Posted in: Nicolas Cage Only Eats Animals That Have “Dignified” Sex, Because Of Course He Does
#1 Jordan Schlansky | May 18th Score:170

A group of Polanski supporters. Not Pictured: Women

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Xavier Beauvois’s Cool New T-Shirt

Ed. note: As you can see, many entries in this week’s Caption Contest were some of the highest rated comments, so I’m not making a special section this time. It’s good, though, because that Caption Contests are the purest form of Commenter Performance Art, so congratulations to everyone, and especially congratulations to Jordan Schlansky, who I wish so much was the real Jordan Schlansky.

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 vaguevoguerogue | May 19th Score:-40
Mmm, this makes me glad I don’t watch lost.

On a lighter note, Glee last night was great. I love Neil Patrick, mainly because I hated ‘doogie houser’ so much in middle school. I look sorta like Neil, everybody called me doogie. I got ‘verclempt’.

I get a little nervous enjoying glee, because my manliness might be jeopardized by musicals. ‘Paint yur wagon’ is the only musical with a real man in it, and you know clint was wondering when the heck he could go back to being a badass.

Posted in: Lost S06E17: Good Luck, Survivors! See You At The Finale!

Ed. note: This is kind of a weird comment. I’m not really sure how not being interested in Lost has anything to do with being into Glee? They are just two very different TV shows. There is certainly room to like both of them. Or neither of them. It’s not a competition. But then on top of that, you kind of get homophobe-y about liking it? Dude, just enjoy yourself! No big whoop! You like what you like. And you clearly don’t like what you don’t like. Which is Lost.

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

This week, a two-way tie:

Ed. note: PUNS! Everybody loves puns! The second one is pretty self-explanatory, but in case the first one makes less sense out of context, it was on the post about a dude shooting a snake in the face with a bazooka, and it was in response to a classic “FAKE!” comment. See? “FAKE”? “SNAKE”? Very good. Very puns.