After Betty White’s success hosting last week’s Saturday Night Live–an opportunity that has largely been credited to a grassroots (yeah RIGHT) Facebook movement–another Facebook Group has taken shape (KILL ME), insisting that Betty White, a 999999-year-old woman host the Academy Awards. Obviously, this is ridiculous and has gone too far, and yet, AND YET, that Facebook group, which has been around for less than a week, already has nearly 100 THOUSAND members. Honestly, if I was Mark Zuckerberg, this would be enough to shut Facebook down. I’d do it. He’s already got ALL THE MONEY THAT THERE IS. Just shut it down. It would be a funny goof, much like this fucking Betty White thing.
Of course, it (and by “it,” I mean “Betty White”) wouldn’t truly be an authentic Internet phenomenon if it didn’t pass into absurdist ironic parody (well, pass further into absurdist ironic parody, because the one thing that Betty White Facebook apologists will never admit is that it was absurdist and ironic to BEGIN WITH) and so there are also Facebook groups demanding that Betty White host an alien parasite, and that Betty White be used to plug up the gulf coast oil leak. And so, I give up. I AM ONLY ONE MAN. I AM ONLY SO STRONG. Let’s make our own fucking Betty White Facebook Group.
But what should we have her do? A few ideas for what our Betty White Facebook group could aim to achieve after the jump:
WE ARE NOT STARTING OUR OWN BETTY WHITE FACEBOOK GROUP. SHUT UP, INTERNET.