Ultimately, Ke$ha Is Our Fault

After the jump, I have posted Ke$ha’s new music video for her hit single, “Your Love Is My Drug.” And make no mistake, it IS a hit single. Yesterday it was reported that Ke$ha is the first artist in 2010 to sell more than one million (ONE MILLION) copies each of three different songs. Can you imagine? By all accounts, she is a huge success. And if there is any formula to her success (peroxide + hamfisted “naughtiness” + rehearsed snarling = hits) this latest entry follows that formula to the letter. Here she is in the desert, lying next to some unwashed dude, “singing” (which I am not even sure she would have the courage to call it that) about “sex and drugs,” with a brief interlude into RAPPING (which, again, if she can’t sing, she certainly can’t rap) as if this was an Ameritrade commercial or something. And the computer says: bleep bloop bleep THE KIDS LOVE IT. So, if the formula works, why should Ke$ha fix it? She is getting what she wants (fame, fortune, people pretending she is pretty because she has the first two) and it’s not like she was an interesting artist with lots of integrity that she somehow gave up in exchange. She’s 14 years old. This is her integrity.

Besides, if you think about it, this is all our fault.

Woof. The Beatles are rolling in their graves right now. Well, John and George are rolling in their graves. Paul and Ringo are rolling in the Vampire Coffins that keep them “alive.” But seriously folks: woof. This is so bad that I almost want to apologize to Brokencyde for all those things I said about them. At least Brokencyde seem to be TRYING to be the worst. Success! Sorry, Ke$ha, even when it comes to being the worst, you are still subpar.

But again, this is all our fault. Ke$ha is the Jeff Dunham of music. She is the tween Glenn Beck. I’m not saying that she is an overtly racist puppeteer or a pudding-minded-and-pudding-faced-fear-monger. But she is something that people, lots and lots of them, actually WANT. Look, Ke$ha didn’t start her own record label and give herself a recording contract and provide YouTube with the seed money to start Vevo as the Internet’s premiere repository for on-line music videos. She didn’t book herself on Saturday Night Live. She doesn’t even WRITE HER SONGS, much less any of that. At a certain point, all of our complaints add up to almost as much noise as Ke$ha’s music, because the reality is Gotham gets the Ke$ha it deserves, not the Ke$ha it needs. Always.

So let me be the first to say, whatever my role may be in this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I caused all that Ke$ha.