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Let’s Pool Our Money And Buy Casey Affleck’s Mockumentary About Joaquin Phoenix

Remember that stupid fake melt-down Joaquin Phoenix was having that one time? And how every time he did something else that was so stupid and so fake, Casey Affleck would be there with a camera? And how it turned out that Casey Affleck was making a whole movie about how stupid and fake Joaquin Phoenix was being? And then it was like, well, wait, are they making a movie BECAUSE he’s being stupid and fake, or is he being stupid and fake FOR the movie? And how it was almost certainly the latter but who ever knows what’s what in this world? Well, the movie is done. From DeadlineHollywood:

Casey Affleck has completed that much-talked about and long-awaited mockumentary he directed about his brother-in-law Joaquin Phoenix’s eccentric metamorphosis from actor to hip-hop musician (or so we’ve been led to believe). I’m told that the film made its debut in a private lunchtime screening at WME headquarters last week for buyers — including Harvey Weinstein — who were sworn to secrecy. WME is selling the film, and it may only take a couple of days to reach a deal.

Wait, WE should buy this movie!

If we all pooled our money together…OK, if we all pooled our money together, we probably wouldn’t have enough to buy this movie. But if we all pooled our money together, LET’S PRETEND WE COULD BUY THIS MOVIE! We are already facing an uphill battle what with not having been invited to the buyers’ luncheon, and also the aforementioned lack of money, and I think a lot of you are in high school and we would need your parents’ permission if we were actually going to start a small film distribution company together, but darker horses have come from further behind (GROSSSSS) in the past. No, this is a good idea. We should definitely do this real idea. We should pool all our money and buy this movie. And then we should set it on fire before anyone else watches it. Because fuck this movie. (Thanks for the tip, Amanda.)