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America, Meet Your New Joke Thief: Nick Madson

Before we get into this, I would just like to remind everyone that life is hard, and that we should all be so lucky as to find something that makes us happy in this world. There is no pride or glory in picking on the little guy who is just trying to figure out what it all MEANS. That being said, there is also no pride or glory in being a fucking jerk and doing things that you know are wrong. America, I would like to introduce you to Nick Madson. He is a young, would-be stand up comedian just trying to make a name for himself. He is no Dane Cook, and based on this performance (after the jump) he will not be a Dane Cook anytime soon. But he does share one thing in common with Mr. Cook, and that is being a joke thief. During a recent set in Davenport, Iowa, Nick Madson performed a number of Patton Oswalt bits, practically verbatim, peppered gently with some bits stolen from Louis C.K. and Dave Attell, you know, just to keep the rhythm going. When it comes to stealing jokes, ALWAYS BE KEEPING THE RHYTHM GOING:

Oof.

Patton Oswalt has responded on his blog, which is worth reading. But this part is probably the worst part:

That Nick Madson is a thief is undeniable. Maybe, I thought, he’s a truly struggling actor, and did this show because he needed money, and feels bad about it. Or maybe he’s one of those deluded souls, like columnist and commentator Mike Barnicle (who lifted the majority of an August 2, 1998 Boston Globe column unchanged from George Carlin’s book Brain Droppings) who truly think that stand-up comedians get their jokes from books, and that any comedy bit is somehow public domain.

But then I find out that one of the other comedians on the show confronted Madson about the bits. And he said, in effect, “I write for Patton, and Louie, and Dave. I wrote those bits”.

So fuck him.

DOUBLE OOF.

Look, Nick Madson is just some dude who performed in front of 12 people in Davenport, Iowa. But we still live in a world of consequences, and one of the consequences of stealing jokes from other comedians is getting called out on a relatively small pop culture blog in a post that tries a little too hard to toe the sensitivity line. Because, to quote Patton Oswalt, fuck him.

The weirdest part about it to me is that you don’t steal from Patton Oswalt, Louis C.K., and Dave Attell unless you actually LIKE comedy. Because those are three of the GREATS. Nick Madson wasn’t ripping off Jay Davis’s bits from Tourgasm. So, you know, as someone who likes comedy to another person who likes comedy (and who then steals that comedy and also lies about his relationship to that comedy) BOOOOOOOO. Get off the stage. Seriously, get off of the stage please.

Again, I recognize that this is small potatoes. But small potatoes aren’t NO potatoes. And even the smallest potato can still fit in a regular sized jail cell. (Via Fluxtumblr.)