The Beastly Trailer Is So Beastupid

OK, so, admittedly, I saw the Beastly trailer a few days ago, and I have been wanting to post it ever since but I haven’t gotten around to it because I have been LAUGHING TOO HARD. Now it is your turn! Beastly trailer, you guys:

Oh no, that poor jerk! I sure hope that he falls in love and becomes beautiful again at the end but with more compassion towards other people and a focus on what’s on the inside rather than what is on the outside! Just kidding, I literally don’t care what happens to him at all. I hope he gets UGLIER!

Although, let’s be honest, he’s not really that ugly? His curse is to be super-ripped and have interesting tattoos? I guess the nose staples are a little weird, but lots of kids in high school experiment with unfortunate body modifications. And also, uh, Vanessa Hudgens wouldn’t date him? Sorry. Sorry make-believe asshole cursed by a billionaire teenage shopping mall witch. They really should have done a better job with the casting if they wanted us to believe that some stupid jerk we have no reason to care about finds someone to love him for who he is (which is still basically a jerk, right? But just an ugly jerk now?) than Zac Efron’s girlfriend. In real life she would be like, “ew, my bodyguard is going to murder you.” And then her bodyguard would murder him.

Speaking of terrible movie trailers of terrible looking movies intended for misguided teenagers: new Twilight: Eclipse trailer in your pants. Here’s an open letter to teenagers: Dear teenagers, like better stuff! Sincerely, adults.