You Are About To Be Famous! (Or Raped!)

Man, these vague, anonymous Craigslist ads never fail to make me laugh so hard. Oooh, really? A “well known TV show” (whatever that means) is looking for men and women of basically every single age? Perfect. And all I have to do is send an email to [email protected]? Well let me just head down to the library and set up a free email account (they’re free, right? My sponsor told me they should be free) and the next thing you know I will be the one in the Hollywood hills hosting a party next to my swimming pool with both a cheese fountain AND a chocolate fountain.

This is definitely how Kelsey Grammar and Jonah Hill got their start. “Hello, is there anyone in there? Why is this basement so dark and why does it smell like semen? Well, the hand-written sign made out of a grease-stained White Castle bag does say “Showboz” so this must be the place!”

Please be careful out there, you guys.