That’s Your Boyfriend: Soy Sauce Tax Form Guy

You know those headphones that your boyfriend stole for you from Circuit City in the confusion of their liquidation sale? Put them on, because he has a mouth:

Squeezy feels like he was hit in the back of the head with a pipe made out of LOVE when he is with you. You guys definitely date for real and it IS serious and you DO sleep with him. Your favorite thing is Sunday mornings when you get the newspaper and go out to brunch. You love to read the Styles section, and he loves to roll blunts with the Automobiles section. He’s pretty worked up about this whole taxes thing, but you keep reminding him, if he would just say yes to your marriage proposal, you guys could file your taxes jointly and he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore, to which he says, “you said joint.” (Thanks for the tip, Patrick.)