Will No One Rest Steven Seagal’s Sex Case?

Last week, Steven Seagal was accused of hiring executive assistants off of Craigslist to work as sex slaves. Now, two more women have come forward with similar accusations. Uh oh. But again, when you actually read the details, things get weird. From TMZ:

Two more women have come forward claiming Steven Seagal made unwanted sexual advances toward them while they worked for the actor … but Seagal’s lawyer tells a very different story.

TMZ has learned both women have provided Kayden Nguyen with sworn declarations, to aid Nguyen’s lawsuit against Seagal — in which the 23-year-old claims she was sexually assaulted by the actor during her stint as his personal assistant.

They gave their declarations to Seagal’s accuser? I’m not a lawyer, so maybe that is how things work? As someone outside the system, it seems pretty loosey-goosey to me. At the very least, if you can hire executive assistant sex slaves off of Craigslist, certainly you could hire two actors in their 20s willing to testify against an eccentric action movie star long past his prime?

Oh, this part is gross:

In one woman’s declaration, obtained by TMZ, Seagal is accused of luring her into his bedroom, putting his hands on the woman’s breasts and stating that he was “checking just as a doctor would for lumps.”

The declaration continues, “Seagal reached his hand down my pants. He said, ‘I just wanted to touch it for a second to see what it felt like.'”

As a doctor would! You know how doctors are. Very sneaky. And another thing about doctors is that they don’t know what anything feels like, but their natural curiosity leads them to wanting to FIND OUT. All they need is to touch IT, just for a second.

Like Nguyen, both women claim they were hired by Seagal to serve as his assistant, but quit after Seagal made inappropriate sexual advances.

TMZ spoke with Seagal’s lawyer, Marty Singer, who tells us, “My client has no knowledge of these women and a preliminary check of his employment records does not show that they ever worked for him.”

Singer also stated that regardless of whether they worked for him or not, their claims are “absurd.”

Regardless of whether they worked for him or not? I would really stick with the “they never worked for him” defense. That seemed like a pretty solid defense. The one where you pretend like it’s just impossible to know one way or the other whether anyone has ever worked for anyone because how do we know that this isn’t our dream life and our dreams aren’t our real life, that defense gets weak for me.

Again, just as with the original accusations, I find it hard to CHOOSE SIDES, and as we know justice is all about SIDES. Like, if any of these accusations are true, gross, Steven Seagal. But if any of them are lies, gross, these ladies. And while I certainly have no trouble picturing Steven Seagal as a sexual nightmare (no imaginary homo), I also have no trouble picturing some frustrated women fabricating a lawsuit. There certainly are a lot of weird details in the prosecution’s accusations, and a lot of weird defenses coming from the Seagal camp.

But most importantly, will no one rest their case? Some of us want to go home to see our families!