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What Is Next For Kevin Eubanks?

It was announced a few weeks ago that longtime Jay Leno Show band-leader, Kevin Eubanks, was looking to abandon that ship. Now it is official. On last night’s episode of The Show That Must Not Be Named, Kevin Eubanks sat on the couch and announced his departure date: May 28th. Goodbye, Kevin Eubanks! Bye bye!

Of course, the question remains: now what? I am sure that Kevin Eubanks plans to have a long and successful career as a solo artist, and to that I say: OK! Good luck! Your mother and I support you! But let’s pretend just for a second that for some weird reason that doesn’t work out. It’s a tough business. You are going to need a back up plan, something to fall back on. At the very least, you’re going to need a day job to help you pay the rent (Kevin Eubanks rents) until the whole music thing finally works out.

Here are a few suggestions for things Kevin Eubanks might want to do:



Pediatrician

Kevin Eubanks has 18 years of experience working closely with selfish, whiny, deluded people with corny senses of humor who expect everything to be done for them.


Ice Skating Rink DJ

Kevin Eubanks has 18 years of experience trying to provide musical accompaniment to a cold thing that goes in circles.


Mirror

Kevin Eubanks has 18 years of experience quietly reflecting what others want to see.


Plumber

Kevin Eubanks has 18 years of experience being around poop. (A DRUM ROLL, PLEASE, MR. EUBANKS!)


And then one day, who knows, maybe the whole music thing will work out. It’s like they always say, shoot for the stars and you might just land in a pediatrician’s office. They make good money!