The New Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Is Only Making Things Worse

Yiiiiiiiiiikes. OK, so, this is a new advertisement for Nike, it features Tiger Woods in sadface, and the voice of his father, Earl Woods, asking him if he learned anything. P.S. Earl Woods died in 2006.

Look, I think that I am like many Americans in that I DON’T CARE ABOUT TIGER WOODS’S PANTS. As far as I am concerned, he is a multi-million dollar celebrity athlete, and I EXPECT him to be out drumming cocktail waitresses. But, I recognize the discrepancy between his squeaky clean media image and his squeaky gross sexual obsessions, and we do live in America, where the cycle of despair and redemption must constantly be renewed. So a certain amount of “soul searching” (yeah, right) and “rebranding” (more like it) are to be expected. But this? Yuck. Aligning the dissolution of one’s marriage with the world’s most recognizable sportswear brands as a tool for selling more breathable heat-tech tees is one thing (or vice versa, well played, Nike?) is one miserable thing that would be a mistake, but invoking the memory of one’s dead father as a limp-wristed attempt to turn the entire fiasco into a personal growth opportunity? But still in tandem (always in tandem) with the sportswear brand, so that hopefully you can grow together?

A rare miss, every single person involved in every step of envisioning, planning, writing, producing, directing, editing, lighting, sound-mixing, and catering this. Except for Tiger Woods. He seems to have really raised the bar on his misses these days! Congrats?