Happy Pesach, Jews!

Gwyneth Paltrow has made this week’s issue of Goop Passover-themed. As if the Jews haven’t suffered enough! (She even spelled Manischewitz wrong. Asshole.) At least the Holocaust wasn’t so self-satisfied and condescending. What a good joke. I’m going to print this post out and give it to my grandma at the Seder tonight. She will be all like “heart attack.” Anyway, congratulations to all the Jews tonight on the whole not being a slave anymore. Pretty chill. And since you can’t eat any leavened bread for two months (I am sure I am getting this right. Grandma is going to love this post so much!), enjoy this video from the archives:

Get it? I’m teasing you, Jews! I’m teasing US! Next post in Jerusalem.

Related: Children Have Trouble Cutting Bread The Darndest Things