Demi Moore Is The New Big Fun

Demi Moore (and Nia Vardalos?) helped prevent ANOTHER potential suicide attempt over the weekend with the help of Twitter. On the one hand, great. On the other hand, what? From the AFP (via FilmDrunk):

Hollywood actresses Demi Moore and Nia Vardalos, star of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” helped police on Friday thwart a possible suicide attempt after being alerted to it through Twitter.

Moore and Vardalos were instrumental in rushing police to the home of an 18-year-old Florida man who had written a message on Twitter saying he had “messed up my life bad” and was “thinking about killing myself.”

The suicidal man, who is not being identified by AFP, wrote a message addressed to Moore’s Twitter account saying he was “about to go hang myself from a tree outside my house and end my life.”

“I have no reason to live anymore,” the man wrote, adding “I am going to send a live feed of me hanging myself. No one cares if I die or not.”

Moore, who is married to actor Ashton Kutcher and goes by @mrskutcher on Twitter, wrote the man back asking if he needed help. He responded “yes.”

Vardalos, who saw the exchange on Moore’s public Twitter feed, called a suicide prevention center in Los Angeles which contacted theSeminole County Sheriff’s Office.

The police officer who arrived at the young man’s home in Casselberry, Florida, around 2:30 am said in his report that he found him “sitting at his computer desk crying.”

Oof. This is obviously a sad story, and I hope that this young man gets the help that he needs, but why are people in emotional despair constantly turning to Demi Moore? Is she really the best that America has to offer? Is she even the best that Twitter has to offer? Why not send a Tweet-for-help to @AnnCurry, or @JoshGroban? I am sure the two of them have spent more than a couple dark evenings staring desperately into the black abyss of human existence. At the very least, you know that if you write to them for help it’s actually them, and not Ashton Kutcher accidentally logged in as them.

Of course, it does no one any good to question who the kids turn to in their hour of need, and so, if Demi Moore is standing watch at the gates of hell, so be it. We salute her, and we toast her health. This guy knows what I’m talking about: