Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

This week, a monster revolution was fomented on Twitter. Or something? I’m still not entirely clear. Some of you began posting messages of varying degrees of militancy and self-righteous fury, followed by “#VforVgum“. It all seemed to come to a head in the comment thread of the Four Lions trailer post for some reason. Now, I still do not completely understand what is going on here, but what little I have been able to make out, it appears that some of the Old Dogs are not happy with the way the comments threads are now, because when they were your avatar’s age they had to comment uphill both ways, or whatever. One thing that I will say to them is that you cannot stop progress, I don’t think, because it is always out marching, or something? That being said, I do love a revolution! So, in honor of the brave e-men and iWomen who gave their livejournals to this cause, we will honor their memory (starting next week) by ending the reign of the animated GIF in the Monsters’ Ball. People are free to post animated GIFs in the comments, and people are free to upvote those GIFS, because this is an American blog, and freedom. But after this week, those comments will no longer be recognized as the best that you have to offer. You can do better! VIVA LA BLEEP BLOP!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, as selected by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of this week’s Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 jim reaper | Mar 17th Score:74

I remember asking a cop on 9/11 where I could give blood and he told me to go to hell, which is weird since I thought they had rivers of it there.

Posted in: Four Lions Puts The LOLs Back In Terrolololorism
#4 Tom Foolery | Mar 17th Score:79

It’s been an alright week; Spring weather plus a Sawyer episode had me feeling pretty good. These guys know what I’m talking about:

Richard episode next week!

Posted in: Lost S06E08: Rise N’ Shine, Applesauce!
#3 Notsewfast | Mar 18th Score:85

Looks like I’ll have to rethink the name of my mantis movie: Pray, love, eat. Thanks a lot Columbia pictures!

Posted in: Eat Pray Love Asshole
#2 werttrew | Mar 15th Score:86

Dear Videogum Staff: I once again nominate the 2009 film Amelia, the biopic about aviatrix Amelia Earhart starring Hilary Swank and Richard Gere, for The Worst Movie of All Time. This is a truly awful film.

The following gif serves well as a metaphor for my viewing experience of this film.

Imagine, if you will, that child in blue holding the struggling cat is actress Hilary Swank.

Next, imagine that the cat is success and glory and quality acting. We’ll call it “Oscar III.” (Or is it dunking the cat that would be winning the Academy Award? Not sure)

The rest of us are watching in horror from the background. No! we scream in silent horror. We aren’t really worried for the cat, who is plenty smart, but we’re dismayed by Hilary, and relieved only that Oscar wasn’t the one worst hurt in the whole process. (That would be us watched the movie, of course, okay I got to finish this, this analogy is getting confusing)

Now Oscar slinks away to his owner, Sandra Bullock, who isn’t great but hey, she wasn’t trying to THROW A CAT INTO A SWIMMING POOL.

(Sorry, I’m getting all tangled up in my analogies here. Anyways. Movie stinks, WMOAT worthy, please do it, etc etc.)

I shall be here next week and every week with a similar strained metaphor till this film’s inclusion is secure. Good day and thank you for your time.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
#1 Notsewfast | Mar 17th Score:94

Please excuse the use of a gif, but I made this to help mend the state of the union.

Maybe if we can all just agree that a giant, flying Topher head is awesome, then we can drink beer in harmony on this greatest of alcholic holidays.

Posted in: Hey, What’s Up With Topher Grace?

Ed. note: I am not going to miss animated GIFs in the Monsters’ Ball because I am an adult, and this whole thing leaves me completely without emotion. I am a robot when it comes to this thing! But I think we can all be proud that we sent them off in style. Tom Foolery’s Smoke Monster driving the Zoolander jeep made me LOLOLOL, and I also enjoyed Notsewfast’s Graceian homage to the wonder that is Carly Fiorina’s broken mind. Goodnight, sweet GIFS. Ours was a love that burned too bright.

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Steve Winwood | Mar 15th Score:-53
And yet you think LOST is a terrific show. Yeah, no hypocrisy there, guy (sarcasm).
Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

Ed. note: Yikes, Steve Winwood! I have a feeling that you were just trying to stir up trouble, in which case, fair enough, sir/ma’am. Consider your trouble well stirred! But this really is a terrible comment. Not because I disagree with you about Lost, although I do, but just because it is complete nonsense. Lost and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button are two entirely different things. You are basically comparing apples and The Curious Case of Benajamin Button, and then insisting that it’s somehow wrong to like apples. Apples are great!

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Capu Flapu And The Spasmatic Pentagrams | Mar 16th Score: 52
“I’ll race you ’til you love me, faggot!”
Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Mike Tyson And A Racing Pigeon

Ed. note: Congratulations to Capu Flapu And The Spasmatic Pentagrams. You earned it!

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Gabroll | Mar 19th
My professional expose on this commercial after this sentence.
Posted in: Hugh Jackman Lets The Actor In Him Take Over For Lipton Ice Tea

Ed. note: This is exactly right.