Videogum

The Porno Switcheroo Archives: North Carolina Cable Television

Great news, everyone! We have finally received a grant from the United States Government to open another wing in the Videogum Archives. So now, in addition to the TWSS Archives, we will also be preserving Porno Switcheroos for posterity. Porno Switcheroos, of course, are the classic scenario in which, for example, a science teacher believes he is about to phone it in for the day by showing his class a VHS of The Matrix, only to have it turn out to be porno. Porno Switcheroo! Or perhaps a powerful corporate vice president begins his Powerpoint presentation only to discover that his key slide concerning Q4 growth analysis has been replaced with a Quicktime of some porno. Porno Switcheroo! Q4 Growth Analysis indeed! (Yuck, sorry.) These are going to be rare, as most cases of Porno Switcheroo are not relevant to Videogum’s interests (Videogum’s interests being, of course, trampolines, vigilante justice, and ghost hunting). But history is not about quantity. I don’t think? It might be about quantity, actually. The next grant proposal I write to the United States government is going to be for funding to determine whether or not history is about quantity. But for now, let’s talk about today’s Porno Switcheroo! It concerns a two-hour slot on North Carolina cable television during which the children’s On Demand station was more like the children’s bONer Demand station, right? (I AM SORRY, I ALREADY SAID.)

From the MetroUK (via DailyWhat):

Youngsters watching children’s TV channels in North Carolina got something rather unexpected on Tuesday morning – when two hours of the Playboy channel was broadcast instead by mistake.

A glitch at the cable company meant that, between 6:15 and 8:15am on Tuesday, the Kids on Demand and Preschool on Demand channels weren’t showing cartoons or educational programmes, but were instead showing previews of adult shows featuring scantily clad ladies talking dirty.

Oh man. Hahahah. A classic Porno Switcheroo if ever I heard one. The parents of North Carolina, of course, are furious.Relax, parents of North Carolina! This type of thing is only confusing to children. “What is she doing and why is she doing it?” are the two questions a Porno Switcheroo usually raises for a child, if a child is involved (children are very often involved in Porno Switcheroos). And if you answer either of those questions, they are met with a follow up question, which is “why?” And if you answer that it is followed up with another question: “but why?” And then they just go back to doing whatever they were doing. Mixing all the sauces from the refrigerator into one glass and daring each other to drink it, or whatever. Making their stuffed animals go to the stuffed animal hospital, etc. So I am not very worried about the children.

And I am not very worried about this Porno Switcheroo falling through the cracks. It is forever in the Archives now. Where it belongs. Those who do not know the history of Porno Switcheroos are doomed to repeat them (which would be hilarious).