Steve Guttenberg Is Cornered!

Cornered! trailer, you guys:

Haaaaa. On the one hand, sure. I mean, everyone involved with this movie is trying to put food on their family by doing the thing that they love: movie-ing. You can’t fault anyone for that. And if you are going to make a low-budget movie because your means have not yet caught up with your ambitions, then you could not choose a better genre than “horror survival.” FACT. But I would have really loved to hear the pitch meeting for this movie when Christopher Moltisanti first approached Carmine Lupertazzi, Jr. for financing. “See, there’s this serial killer, right? And this group of people, they are like, gossiping, you know how people love to gossip–especially women!–and they’re just, like, saying all the ways that they would kill the serial killer if, you know, they ever met him. But they’re hanging out in a liquor store, OK? That’s where they hang out, because they’re friends. But the serial killer is in the liquor store! Shopping! So the serial killer hears them saying all the ways they’d kill him, and it hurts his feelings, right? But instead of getting sad about it, he is like, “that’s it, now I’m going to kill you.” But he’s creative right? He’s clever. So he kills them in all the different ways they said they were going to kill him, even though that is much more complicated than just killing them in whatever way he is used to killing people, and makes for a lot of possible oversights that could lead to his capture if you think about it, and also, like, he doesn’t know them that well, he could switch a couple people up, you know, kill them with each other’s ideas, and then the whole thing would be ruined. But it’s a movie, so he gets it right. It will definitely make people think twice about hanging out with their friends for hours in liquor stores. Starring Steve Guttenberg. And the title has an exclamation point at the end, to let people know.”

And then it was all, “Goomar, get my checkbook.” (Thanks for the tip, Octavis.)