Ke$ha’s miserable “Blah Blah Blah (featuring 3OH!3)” video, you guys. Apologies in advance to your eyes/ears/heart.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF. You know that part at the end of Larry Clark’s Kids when the one skater who just raped a girl who had recently been diagnosed as HIV positive before passing out on some West Village couch wakes up and is like “What happened?” I feel like that guy. Except that this video raped me. And it has AIDS. I do find it hilarious, though, that Ke$ha thinks she is a hot girl that all the guys are dying to be with. Sure. Here is a sample conversation between dudes:
Dude 1: Bro, you are never going to believe this chick I saw at the bar last night?
Dude 2: Hot?
Dude 1: Oh man, she looks kind of like Stephanie Pratt in a bad wig, and she has absolutely no talent whatsoever but she insists on making these songs that, like, I guess, I don’t know what genre of music they are. Ear Poison? Is that a genre? Anyway, she acts like a total asshole, bro, and she makes lots of references to “Jack” all the time, like, Jack Daniels? Because someone told her it would make her seem tough? But you start to get the sense that she doesn’t even know what Jack is? It’s kind of painful to watch. I think she probably has really low self-esteem, actually.
Dude 2: Siiiiiiiick.
Dude 1: Yeah, I’m super into it.
Dude 2: Who wouldn’t be?!
The thing is, though, as bad as this, Ke$ha has always been terrible. Even when she was a 13-year-old singing Radiohead’s “Karma Police” at her Junior High School talent show:
BOO! GET OFF THE BASKETBALL COURT!
P.S. every single member of 3OH!3 (whoever that even is) is your boyfriend. You date them. And you want to marry them.