My Little Ponies Perform Showtunes And/Or Two Tickets To Nightmare Town

Personally, I hate musical theater. No big deal. There are plenty of theaters in the sea, or whatever. It is just not my cup of theater, and other metaphors clumsily rewritten. Nevertheless, whenever a new musical is turned into a major motion picture, I somehow end up seeing it for some reason? Knowing full well that it is a mistake for which I will feel the human emotion of “regret.” It’s surprising how loud the pro-musical theater faction is in America, compared to how many people actually care about musical theater. I GUESS THEY JUST KNOW HOW TO PROJECT AND ALSO DIAPHRAGMS! (I am so tired right now.) But seriously, whenever a movie musical comes out, there is such a CHORUS of enthusiastic support that I get momentarily disoriented and wonder if maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time. As if somehow all the other instances of musical theater that I have seen and disliked have just been fluke goofs and I’ve yet to experience the real deal. False.

The point is: while I don’t like musical theater, but I would if musical theater was actually just people in My Little Pony costumes with animatronic faces singing. Because sometimes you need to look into the gaping black maw of true terror to be reminded how beautiful it is to be alive.

In your face, Fred. This is welcome to my new nightmare. (Via Dlisted.)