I haven’t really been watching the Olympics. Has anyone? I mean, I know that millions and millions of people around the world have been watching the Olympics, but they don’t count. I turned the Olympics on the other day and saw a dude cross-country ski-ing, and in the bottom right corner the timer was ticking off minute 14 (minute 14!) and I said “goodnight, Olympics” and turned that off, because I am an adult, and my time deserves respect. And another time that I turned on the Olympics I had just missed Johnny Weir’s figure skating performance, but the announcers were going nuts for him, saying that after all of his tough-talk he finally backed it up with some impressive skating, and I thought, “fair enough,” and then I watched the judges scores, and he only placed fifth? Once more, I turned off the Olympics, because I am an adult, and I do not need to be lied to by over-excitable broadcasters. I saw Shaun White’s gold medal run on-line. It was pretty neat. He went so high into the air! Although, I tried to imagine the legend of Shaun White, like, 40 years from now, when some 15-year-old athlete who has mastered the hover-spaceboard speaks reverently about Olympic hero Shaun White who was the “best who ever lived,” and I compared that with the long-haired stoner that is Shaun White, and I felt a pang of Old Man-ness at how noble Olympic Heroes are not what they once were (this thought is sponsored by Werther’s Originals). Not to mention the fact that snowboarding is a make believe sport and there was no such thing as a half-pipe in the times of the Gods. But whatever. This is your 2010 Olympics thread. Go for the gold.