Sup sup chill dawgs!
Check it out, young dudes who understand the importance of progress but that it can’t come at the expense of other human beings or the environment, and all you neat gals who aren’t going to let society’s idea of what is expected of you get in the way of your dreams. Today I’ve got some pretty hip jazz to spit with you about some new music I think you are really going to dig on. You know, music is supes imports in helping young people define themselves. I know you’re probably looking at me and laughing at my walking stick and my beard with pieces of food in it, but I used to be just like you. MEGABass! I used to collect these things called compact discs and my friends and I would make each other mixtapes, which were kind of like iTunes playlists, except that they were the size of an iPod and you needed a special machine to listen to them and they were only 90 minutes long, and they only worked if you were traveling up hill both ways. Aiwa. The point is, I understand how formative and transformative music can be for you, and what a central role it can play in your social life.
That is why I think you are really going to lurv (that’s a word you guys are still using, right? Dope!) this new video from Justin Bieber. It features a guest rap from celebrated 45-year-old musician Ludacris, and also you can see Drake standing around in the background for some reason, which I guess is not so much to do with the music, but he’s famous, and that is what music is all about, right? Famous friendships! One day the fiery passion you feel for music now will fade into the background, and music will take its place among books and movies and coffee and sandwiches as a thing that you simply enjoy from time to time, but right now it is everything. JUSTIN BIEBER IS YOUR HEART.
What a good song and video. Sure, when I was your age my formative musicians were Pavement and Superchunk and Tribe Called Quest, and sure, when my parents were your age, they were listening to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, and sure, when their parents were your age they were exited by the work of Benny Goodman and Billie Holiday, but that’s just because Justin Bieber didn’t exist! I am sure if we all had a time machine, we would go back in time and KILL HITLER, and then we would make sure to bring a Justin Bieber MP3 with us to give to our teenage selves so that we could use it as the foundation for our ideas about the world!
And that’s fresh!