The Jay Leno Show Series Finale Drinking Game

It’s hard to believe that it’s already here, but tonight is the final broadcast of The Jay Leno Show. Hold on, let me just wipe these tears from my eyes. (Tears are exactly the same things as barf, right?) Anyway, what a wild roller-coaster it has been. So many downs and downs! Of course, there is one good thing to come out of all this, and that is that Jay Leno’s true face has been unmasked and revealed to the world. It turns out that he is less of an awe-shucks-everyman who just loves to laugh, and more of a backstabbing-nightmare-with-an-airplane-hangar-full-of-cars who hates to relinquish his mediocre grip on entertainment. Remember when he told Oprah that it would have been selfish to retire? The guy just gets it! Oh, he also said something to the effect of: “You should never quit when you are ahead, you should only quit when you begin failing.” O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN! I’m sorry, is Jay Leno the host of a talk show, or is he the coach of the Dillon Panthers?

Anyway, since all of America (practically none of America whatsoever) will be tuning in to tonight’s emotional show (look out Super Bowl viewership record!), here is a fun (read: dangerous) drinking game to play at home:

Drink every time:

  • Jay makes a reference to how NBC screwed him over, despite the fact that he is the only person NBC didn’t screw over
  • Jay takes credit for something for which he deserves no credit (ex: a human life)
  • Jay makes a falsely humble reference to his upcoming return to the Tonight Show as if what can he say, he’s just doing God’s work for the people
  • Jay makes a joke that is painfully unfunny
  • Actually
  • You know what
  • Just start drinking when the show starts
  • And do not stop drinking until the show is over

PLEASE PLAY RESPONSIBLY! (By which I mean, please do not play this game. Read a book! This one is particularly good!)