Who Was Watching All That Super Bowl?

Whoa. Sunday night’s Super Bowl was the most watched television broadcast in herstory! From the AP:

NEW YORK – The New Orleans Saints’ victory over Indianapolis in the Super Bowl was watched by more than 106 million people, surpassing the 1983 finale of “M-A-S-H” to become the most-watched program in U.S. television history, the Nielsen Co. said Monday.

Nielsen estimated Monday that 106.5 million people watched Sunday’s Super Bowl. The “M-A-S-H” record was 105.97 million.

Of course, there are some aspects of this story that make it less impressive. For one thing, there were approximately 233,000,000 people in the United States in 1983, and now there are more than 303,000,000. I’m not a math expert, or even a person who can do basic math, but I know that if we’re talking about percemangers, the number goes way downer. The other thing that no one seems willing to face is how crazy it is that up until now the series finale of M-A-S-H was the most watched show of all time. No offense to the M-A-S-H heads out there, I am just surprised that it was a record no one had been able to surpass. You really dropped the ball on that one, series finale of The Nanny (May 12, 1999).

But the real question, of course, is who was watching all that Super Bowl?

“The Super Bowl reminds me of my glory days in high school when I was a football star. And by football star, of course, I mean when the guys from the team would shove me into a locker. I miss those guys! Old friends bookends!”
“I recognize that the Super Bowl is an important American past-time, and it’s important for someone in my position to relate to and understand exactly what it is I am about to tell underlings to shut up and get back to work about.”
“My husband lets me prepare snacks for him and the other husbands during Super Bowl, and then I get to go to my room and spend one extra hour on study and prayer. I love Super Bowl!”
“I have got a complete set of all the 2010 Super Bowl Special Edition Pogs. They’re super-rad!”
“Me and the fellas put on facepaint of our favorite team colors, and then we get together and just crush some cotton candy and elephant ears. Also I am a giant evil spider?”

America #1.