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Lost S06E01-02: Night Of A Thousand What?!s

Well, that happened. And while I know that we still have a full season’s worth of episodes left to unravel the mysteries (or is it tie up the mysteries?) of this show, last night’s two-hour premiere felt like walking on mystery sand. For every step we took towards understanding what was going on, we slid three mystery steps backwards. So many new mysteries! So now there are two Jacks? Caught in two love triangles? With two Kates and two Sawyers? Because Damon Lindelof listened to that podcast episode of WNYC’s Radio Lab and heard physicist Brian Greene talking about the multi-verse? Fair enough. But from which of the universes did all those roving gangs of Chinese-American nerds come from? (And can we all agree that we share the communal hope that future episodes of Lost will have less papier mache temples that look like they were built for a Junior High science fair? I love this show, but I also don’t eat at the Rainforest Cafe in the mall for a reason.)

Anyway.

After last night’s pizza party, I’m not really sure that a full recap is necessary. We were all there. We all saw it with our eyes. But there are a few things/questions/mysteries that it does seem are worth keeping in mind as we go forward:

  • How did Second Life Desmond end up on the plane?
  • How did Second Life Desmond disappear from the plane?
  • To the actress who played Shannon: wha happen?
  • Second Life Hurley is lucky instead of cursed?
  • Why did Second Life Charlie say he was supposed to die?!
  • Second Life Sun doesn’t speak English?
  • Do spinal surgeons really ask complete strangers in wheelchairs how they got there?
  • So spinal surgeons are impolitic assholes.
  • The man in black is also Bizarro Locke is also the smoke monster is also Jake Sully.
  • And he is not a who, he is a what? What?
  • And he wants to go home? Where is home?
  • Jacob buried the note in the ankh before Hurley ever even returned to the island, so all of this is pre-ordained. So would someone just tell the writers of Lost that, before they get too confused.
  • The water should be clear, but the water is not clear.
  • When Hurley shouts “you’re not saving him, you’re drowning him,” it becomes clear that the time-shift has heightened Hurley’s powers of perception.
  • WHEN IS JACK’S DAD’S COFFIN?
  • WHAT IS IN THE SAYID?

LOST! YES!