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It Is 2010, And Yet Somehow The Razzies Still Exist

With the 2010 Grammys last night and tomorrow morning’s highly-anticipated announcement of this year’s Oscar nominees, America has got awards fever! But what America does not have is fake awards fever. The nominees for this year’s Razzie Awards were announced today. Check out what these guys had to say:

“Shrug.”
–America

Maybe this was fun and irreverent back when we all had Hotmail accounts and your mom was like “I can’t get my Netscape to dial the Web.” But it’s 2010. I’m pretty sure Heidi Montag has been nominated for an Oscar this year, and yet I still don’t think a website that looks like it hasn’t been updated since the Razzies were first founded by the billionaire CEO of Jukt Micronics is flinging any mud in The Man’s eye. The Man is wearing Prada sunglasses anyway, and if they get muddy he just throws them out and puts on his backup pair. The whole thing just feels like Julia Butterfly still living up in her tree. Come down from there, Julia Butterfly! There is actual work to be done!

WORST PICTURE OF 2009
“All About Steve”
“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”
“Land of the Lost”
“Old Dogs””
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (a.k.a. “Trannies, Too”)

WORST ACTOR OF 2009
All Three Jonas Brothers, “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience”
Will Ferrell, “Land of the Lost”
Steve Martin, “Pink Panther 2″
Eddie Murphy, “Imagine That”
John Travolta, “Old Dogs”

WORST ACTRESS Of 2009
Beyonce, “Obsessed”
Sandra Bullock, “All About Steve”
Myley Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”
Megan Fox, “Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
Sarah Jessica Parker, “Did You Hear About the Morgans?”

WORST SCREEN COUPLE OF 2009
Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, “The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience”
Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, “All About Steve”
Will Ferrell and any co-star, Creature or “Comic Riff,” “Land of the Lost”
Shia Lebouf & Either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
Kristin Stewart and either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Whatz-His-Fang, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OF 2009
Candice Bergen, “Bride Wars”
Ali Larter, “Obsessed”
Sienna Miller, “G.I. Joe”
Kelly Preston,”Old Dogs”
Julie White (as Mom), “Trannies, Too”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR OF 2009
Billy Ray Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”
Hugh Hefner (as himself), “Miss March”
Robert Pattinson, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”
Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), “Land of the Lost”
Marlon Wayans, “G.I. Joe”

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE
“Battlefield Earth” (2000)
“Freddy Got Fingered” (2001)
“Gigli” (2003)
“I Know Who Killed Me” (2007)
“Swept Away” (2002)

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE
Ben Affleck – “Daredevil,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Paycheck,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Surviving Christmas”
Eddie Murphy – “Adventures of Pluto Nash,” “I Spy,” “Imagine That,” “Meet Dave,” “Norbit,” “Showtime”
Mike Myers – “Cat in the Hat,” “The Love Guru”
Rob Schneider – “The Animal,” “Benchwarmers,” “Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo,” “Grandma’s Boy,” “The Hot Chick,” “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry,” “Little Man,” “Little Nicky”
John Travolta – “Battlefield Earth,” “Domestic Disturbance,” “Lucky Numbers,” “Old Dogs,” “Swordfish”

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE
Mariah Carey – “Glitter”
Paris Hilton – “The Hottie & The Nottie,” “House of Whacks,” “Repo: The Genetic Opera”
Lindsay Lohan – “Herbie Fully Loaded,” “I Know Who Killed Me,” “Just My Luck”
Jennifer Lopez – “Angel Eyes,” “Enough,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Maid in Manhattan,” “Monster-in-Law,” “The Wedding Planner”
Madonna – “Die Another Day,” “The Next Best Thing,” “Swept Away”

I will give it to the Razzie nominations, I had completely forgotten about Pink Panther 2. They have done their homework! But I will not give it to the Razzie nominations for “Taylor Whats-His-Fang.” I am just not sure how sarcastic and counter-cultural of an awards program you can be if you are making sub-par Rush Limbaugh wordplay jokes about incredibly famous actors to signal that you don’t respect what they do. (Via Dlisted.)