This Is Your Music Video: Maxine Swaby’s “Pardon Me”

The sad thing about dreams is not that they so often go unfulfilled, it is that people so often do not even bother trying to achieve them in the first place. I remember one time, I was at the dentist getting a routine cleaning, and I told the hygienist that I was going to visit some friends in New York for the holidays and she asked if I was going to go to Times Square for New Year’s Eve. Now, I am a polite gentleman who never asks a lady’s age or tells her that what she is suggesting sounds like a living nightmare. So I just said, “no, I don’t think I am going to Times Square for New Year’s Eve,” to which she replied, “I’ve always wanted to do that, but I’ve never gotten around to it.” AND THEN I CURVED A BULLET AROUND THE ROOM WITH THE WORDS “GOODNIGHT, TOO SAD” ETCHED INTO IT, TAKING BOTH OF OUR LIVES BECAUSE THE LOOM OF DEPRESSION SAID IT MUST BE SO. I mean, look, no offense (some offense), but dreaming of spending New Year’s Eve in Times Square is the saddest dream, but sadder still is allowing that dream to go unrealized. I mean, there are lots of ambitious dreams out there that take courage and self-sacrifice to even attempt much less achieve, but the bar on fulfilling the dream of spending New Year’s Eve in Times Square is set painfully low. Let’s put it this way: any dream that involves standing outside in the middle of winter wearing novelty glasses while crushed up against a group of drunk people and not being allowed to use the bathroom is one that you should seriously GET OUT OF THE WAY SO THAT YOU CAN GET TO WORK ON SOME NEW DREAMS.

Which is what I like so much about Maxine Swaby. She doesn’t let something like singing ability, a case of Oompa Loompa head, or the ability to choose non-ridiculous wipes from the VidFX™ mixing board get in the way of making her dreams a reality. Maxine Swaby is like “I eat pieces of New Year’s Eve in Times Square for breakfast.”

Yes! Dreams really do come true! Let’s paint, exercise, and be more like Maxine Swaby, you guys. We can do it all! 2010, the year in which our dreams involve NO bathroom use restrictions! (Via Robert Popper. Thanks for the tip, Tony.)