The Season Of The Witch Trailer Rocks!*

Season of the Witch trailer, you guys:

Look, I’m not trying to tell Hollywood how to do its job, (although actually, when you think about it, I guess I am kind of trying to tell Hollywood how to do its job), but you know that you are a redneck in trouble when you make a movie about a medieval witch who controls wolves with her mind and sets fires using her eyes and the least believable thing about it is your lead actor’s HAIR. I bet directors love casting Nicolas Cage in movies like this because they can just reuse old, rotting wigs from previous movies. “Back in the days of chivalry, people rarely bathed, and they almost never cleaned their wigs.” Hollywood is all about making movie magic without going over your wig budget.

Although, to be fair to Nicolas Cage, while he is the least believable thing in this (any) movie, the soundtrack is a VERY CLOSE SECOND. It’s one thing to shred black angst over a movie about the Apocalypse or whatever, but this is a movie about a couple of noble knights transporting an un-Christian wench through the forest. Methinks perchance a lute is the trick. But no. This movie is too busy writing the name of its band on its jeans with a Sharpie and thinking about joining the army to go crack some skulls like mom’s boyfriend Randy is always talking about. Camelot, FUCK YEAH!