NSFW: Could There Be A Worse Porn Parody Than The Curb Your Enthusiasm Porn Parody?

As Benjamin Franklin famously said, “the only things certain in life are death and taxes and porn parodies of popular movies/sitcoms.” And then he invented lightning with a kite! The point is, at some point, anything that is even remotely popular in the world of movies or television will provide the thematic backdrop against which two sad people will DO IT. But Hustler has announced its upcoming lineup of porn parodies, and while lots of them sound super great (I’m sure they will appeal to fans of the originals as well as fans of doing it!) there are a couple in there that should maybe just not be in there. From the Hustler website (via TheDailyWhat. Mom, I don’t even know what a website IS!):

After bringing you parodies like the newly released Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin and This Ain’t Happy Days XXX, Hustler continues to provide you with the satisfaction you crave with its fresh spin on today’s hottest pop culture & celebrity dirt. Spotlighting your favorite adult talent and featuring witty, refreshing plotlines, even your girlfriend can’t wait for you to bring home the next Hustler parody title!

Hustler is pleased to announce its much-anticipated parody lineup for 2010-11:

  • This Ain’t CSI XXX: Chatsworth
  • This Ain’t Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX
  • This Ain’t Avatar XXX
  • This Ain’t Glee XXX
  • This Ain’t I Dream of Jeannie XXX
  • This Ain’t The Cable News XXX
  • This Ain’t The Soup XXX
  • This Ain’t The Hills XXX

Wait, what on Earth would a porn parody of The Soup entail? Two people having sex while making sassy comments about funny moments on reality TV? Witha a cameo by Stains the Cupcake Dog? WELCOME TO BONER TOWN, POPULATION A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS’ BONERS. What a witty, refreshing plotline!

That being said, I would much rather see a The Soup porn parody than Curb Your Enthusiasm porn parody. PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY YUCK. I can’t even think of a show I would less like to see turned into a porn parody. I suppose a porn parody of Law and Order: Sexy Victims Unit in which the crimes are shown in graphic detail, and the defense goes both ways (PAH!) would be pretty awful. But I don’t know. A porn about an irrascible 117-year-old multi-millionaire who wants to get a penis cake named after him at the erotic bakery before going to his loud and fat manager’s house and double-teaming his shrill, insufferable nag of a wife sounds like a nightmare.

Can you think of a worse show? More importantly, will you accept my apologies for every single word of this post?