Duh Aficionado Magazine: Lindsay Lohan Has A Sex Tape

Lindsay Lohan has a sex tape? Lindsay Lohan has a sex tape. Rumors are circulating that “lady of interest” Lindsay Lohan has a 47-seconds long (haha, THAT’S A WRAP!) sex tape featuring her and some bartender (check please!) and that it is “seedy.” I’m not sure how “seedy” anything can get in 47 seconds, but then again, goatse and tub girl are both 0 seconds long, so who knows! The rumors continue that the sex tape will soon find its way onto the Internet, as if that needed clarifying. “I wonder where this sex tape will end up, it could be any medium of distribution, really.”

Obviously, the Lindsay Lohan sex tape is Duh Aficionado Magazine’s Amistad moment. We will call upon our forefathers to help us on this day, and they must come, because this is the whole reason they have existed at all. If there is anything surprising about a Lindsay Lohan sex tape it is that it has taken this long for one to make its way into the world. It is 2010! You can make sex tapes on your calculator! Lord knows, the delay has not been due to Lindsay Lohan’s careful decision making and refusal to embarrass herself. Anyway, duh. Like: