Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

As much as I don’t like the way that the NBC late night shakeout is shaking out, I will be kind of glad when the dust settles (on Jeff Zucker’s grave). It has gotten exhausting to keep up with a thing that I was only mildly interested in to begin with! So, let us pretend, at least for a moment, that it is months from now and we have all moved on. Oh, that feels nice! But it is fake. It’s not months from now, it’s right now. (This blog is basically a freshman seminar in Empirical Philosophy, and you just graduated, so congrats.) Speaking of congrats, today we have exciting news to share. We have found our Videogum Intern! Oh great! Her name is Lauren, and she is going to be helping out a lot. Neat. Let us all give Lauren a very warm welcome. Trust me, being nice won’t make you guys any less of a bunch of MONSTERS.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5

Whoa. Missing comment? Bamboo puppy is stealthier than I thought.

Posted by: Funtastik in response to Sarah Palin Is A “Journalist” For FOX News, Or: Puppies!
Score = 70

#4

both?

Posted by: bird in response to Sarah Palin Is A “Journalist” For FOX News, Or: Puppies!
Score = 77

#3

My boyfriend’s condom tattoo is very convincing, and now I have the clap. But I still love him.

Posted by: Lord Growing in response to That’s Your Boyfriend: Tattoo Glasses Guy
Score = 79

#2

The nursing home has pretty strict rules about what can and can’t be tacked to the walls.

Posted by: Notsewfast in response to Show Your Support For Conan O’Brien
Score = 90

#1

Actual 1940s newspaper:

Posted by: dance contest winner in response to The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Notebook
Score = 93

[Ed. note: good work, everyone. Very little is certain in this world, but one thing that is is the fact that you are all monsters, every last one. And you are IRREPLACEABLE.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

This had to do with videogum, how?

Shut Up, Gabe.

Posted by: Warden El Fuego in response to Shut Up, Jerry Seinfeld
Score = -60

[Ed. note: how quickly things can change. Warden El Fuego, of course, appeared in last week’s Monsters’ Ball in the Editor’s Choice. Personally, I did not even think that this was his worst comment of the week! His, and probably the, worst comment of the week was the one in which he insisted that Videogum comments were all just groupthink and that Videogum sucked dick and then said “God hates fags.” What the fuck is THAT about? The “groupthink” criticism is valid, although it is not exclusive to Videogum. That is just what happens when people who like and enjoy the same things (for the most part) get together. It’s called a shared world view, and the opportunities for extreme differences of opinion often disappear in close knit communities, because people with vastly opposing views tend to get exhausted from feeling at odds with those around them and seek out another community with people whose views more closely align with their own. It just makes sense. But, and we have been through this before, Videogum welcomes and encourages differing opinions if those opinions are expressed thoughtfully and in the spirit of open discussion. But your “dissent,” Warden El Fuego, was that I should shut up? That’s not a very interesting counter-argument. And by the time you get to saying that Videogum sucks dick, you are hardly the embattled voice of reason for alternative points of view. You’re just an asshole. And, again, I really do not understand what you could possibly have meant by the “God hates fags” comment. Not that I care to. Who cares what jerks meant?]

[UPDATE: Gross. Banned.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Conan: “Be cool, my babies.”

Leno: “Cars.”

Posted by: arm426 in response to The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Conan O’Brien And Jay Leno
Score = 59

[Ed. note: congratulations, arm426. You did it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Posted by: Mr. Hausfrau in response to Hugh Jackman The New Global Spokesman For Lipton Iced Tea

[Ed. note: this is just a good advertisement, is what this is. Don Draper is like “can’t you fire me?”]