People Who Are Suicidal Because Of Avatar Make Me Suicidal

Oh jeeeeeeez. Avatar was neat, or whatever, but this is becoming unacceptable. From CNN

James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle “Avatar” may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS?! “If I can’t live in a World of Warcraft expansion pack where everyone speaks with meatfist dialog and your hair is a penis then what is the point of living?!” That’s the basic argument, right? You know, the Information Superhighway has done a lot of good over the years, but I really feel like this would never have happened without the Internet. What would people have done? Written a letter to the newspaper?

“Dear Fellows,

I include herein details of my emotional state of the past fortnight concerning the adventure serial Avatar, to be reprinted forthwith and posthaste.”

No. Anyway, the CNN article included some choice quotes from these Fan Forums and I have two words for you: oh boy.

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Oh noooooooooooo. He got too many tears and shivers from it! I’m not sure that I follow his logic that he loves Pandora so much that he thinks he will “be rebirthed” there if he kills himself, though. I wonder where he thought you were reborn when you committed suicide BEFORE AVATAR WAS RELEASED THREE WEEKS AGO? Into the world of Jumanji, probably.

Also this one:

Ivar Hill posts to the “Avatar” forum page under the name Eltu. He wrote about his post-“Avatar” depression after he first saw the film earlier this month.

“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

It turns out that this kid is 17, so it kind of makes sense. I mean, he hasn’t done or worked for that much yet. This is also the reason that I am not too worried about him. I mean, don’t all 17-year-olds “live in a dying world” where they don’t see any reason to keep “doing things at all”? If it wasn’t Avatar that brought this out of him, it would have been a Paul Auster book or some bullshit.

Incidentally, this is a great example of how an otherwise reliable news source can take two fringe Internet forum postings, one of them being anonymous, and turn it into “news.” Good work, CNN. It’s weird that you didn’t have the hologram respond to this important breaking story. Do you just not even want a Peabody? (Thanks for the tip, Jane, Scott, and Colin.)