Conan O’Brien Eats Pieces Of Jay Leno For Breakfast

As you may have heard by now, on Friday night’s episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, Conan finally addressed the rumors about NBC’s late night line-up shuffle. In the above clip, he makes pointed jokes about his and Jay Leno’s futures and NBC’s bungling, my favorite joke being the last one, because haha and yikes. But at the opening of his monologue he also did a Jay Leno impression (watch here), and as WarmingGlow points out, Friday night was the first time Conan did his famous Late Night “string dance” since moving to the Tonight Show. PAH!

According to a press conference yesterday, NBC Chairman Jeff Gaspin officially confirmed the network’s plans to return Jay Leno to 11:30, and admitted that the futures of both Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon were still up in the air. Smaaaaart.

Whatever. The whole thing feels like watching a friend burn their love life to the ground. You know when your friend dumps some asshole they have been dating and starts dating someone who is awesome, but then they get back with the asshole because your friend is an idiot, but by now you’ve become friends with the awesome person too, and you’re like “not only can you do better than my friend, but I hope that it hurts them because of how dumb they are.” I think the thing I like best about this metaphor is how easy it is to understand and how perfectly it sums up the situation between millionaire TV hosts and a multi-billion dollar network. (Nope.)

The point is: for the time being, Conan is BACK. And NBC is a moron. And they can keep their Jay Leno, because when this is all said and done, I think it is Conan who will be asking “WHO’S ON TOP AND WHO’S ON BOTTOM NOW, BILLY?”