Videogum

That’s Your Perfume: White Diamond Perfume

White Diamond is your perfume. It is the one that you put on before a night out on the town (“three tickets for The Blind Side, please”). It is the one that you put on when you have not felt like showering for eight days (“you don’t understand, there was a Bridezillas marathon on WE and all of my clothes have sauce on them”). It is the one that you put on when you want to impress that special someone (“that’s right, I have wooden coat hangers”). It is the one that you put on that makes all the other girls wonder who is that? (“No, seriously, who is that? Who invited her?”) White Diamond Perfume: it is not what you wear it is what you spray on your face and sometimes crotch (“it was an emergency! I needed it there!”).

Take notes, Rhett and Link. There is no parody of perfection. (Via Dlisted.)