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Kids Are Drunk And Heart-Breaking Thieves The Darndest Things

I’m not going to lie, I laughed through most of this story. HOW ELSE WAS I TO KEEP FROM CRYING? Obviously, I am glad that Hayden Wright is OK, and that “he wants to get in trouble and go to jail because that’s where his daddy is” was not prematurely etched onto any tombstones. But you have to admit that the image of a drunk four-year-old child drinking a beer while wearing a brown dress that he stole from under a neighbor little girl’s Christmas tree before wandering the streets alone in the middle of the night, is mostly incredible. It’s like The Hangover, but emotionally and physically underdeveloped. And seriously fucking depressing. (Via MattTobey.)