Steven Seagal Knows All Of The Police Words!

Last night, Steven Seagal: Lawman premiered on A&E. The premise is that Steven Seagal, in addition to being a famous movie star (sort of, at this point) and an Aikido master, has spent the past 20 years as a deputy in the Jefferson Parrish Sheriff’s Department. Ummmm….OK! Supposedly, the show’s intro-graphics tell us, he has kept this job out of the limelight until now. I bet! It’s weird that he’s suddenly decided to let the world know that he is a police officer right when his movie career was finally taking off. Or maybe it’s just that he realized that what the world needed right now was the powerful role-model of a self-involved marble mouth wearing a police costume and using words that he clearly picked up watching Law & Order reruns on the USA Network.

Seriously, this guy knows about as much about police work as I do. Hey, Steven Seagal, I also enjoyed watching The Wire! The two episodes that aired last night were mostly just very fast jumpcuts of him standing around in the background trying to see what was going on, and shouting “get ‘im!”

After the jump, I have compiled a collection of Steven Seagal’s best police acting. This is MUST SEE TV. Dude is a legend!

–Steven Seagal, 1952-2012

Steven Seagal is clearly very, very talented, and I hope that he wins the Emmy for Best Policeman! I am a life-long practitioner of having my fingers crossed out on these dangerous streets.