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Stephen Colbert Finally Takes On Big Miracle Whip

Earlier this summer, Miracle Whip, which is a terrible condiment for people whose mouths are broken, began a hilarious ad campaign in which Miracle Whip is basically a podcast about Fleet Foxes recorded in Bushwick that you can only listen to in space. That is how cool Miracle Whip is, says this ad. XBOX 360! So shut up, grandpa, with your face. Anyway, Stephen Colbert made fun of this ad campaign on his show, and Miracle Whip responded with a strongly-worded letter published in newspapers, and then a major ad buy during last night’s episode. To which Colbert responded (after the jump) with his own strongly-worded segment. So we are basically in an all out FEUD now, and you know how I love feuds (I love feuds like this).

Colbert’s response from last night:

Here was Miracle Whip’s letter to him:

And this is the original ad:

And this is when Colbert made fun of it the first time:

The actual Miracle Whip ads on last night’s show were customized with Stephen Colbert taunts, just daring him to bring it. I would post one of those, but I was a dumb-dumb and deleted the episode from my DVR (“D’oh!” — Homer Simpson, from FOX’s The Simpsons). In any case, Stephen Colbert is bringing it. And I think we are all going to bring it. Because Miracle Whip is the grossest. Goodnight, Nurse Miracle Whip, I hope you said your prayers. Because you know what this means!

God damn it! We are really going to need to work on these war cries. They are just not doing it for me. How am I supposed to go into battle against The Evil Kraft Brothers without the proper PUMP MUSIC?! Daddy needs his pump music! (Gross!) (I’m sorry!) (You know what else is gross?) (Miracle Whip!)