MTV’s Jersey Shore Proves That We Live In The Era Of The Douchebag

Every few years, popular culture passes out of its old phase (acid washed jeans) and into its new phase (pepperoni P’zone). Right now, we are clearly living dick deep (sorry, but appropriate) within the Era of the Douchebag now. It’s not just that the douchebags have gotten their own uniform (Ed Hardy), or their own odor (Axe), or their own drink (Miller Chill), or their own tan (fake), or their own music (Nickelback), they’re even getting their own TV shows. We’ve already seen the rise of Tool Academy, and there was the little talked about but much-doucebaggy Is She Really Going Out With Him?. And now MTV is at it again with a new show called Jersey Shore, also known as Douchebag USA, or Douchebag Ground Zero, or “home” (if you are a douchebag yourself). It’s really only a matter of time before they get their own TV station. 24-hours a fuckin’ day, brah.

Jersey Shore promo, or as I like to call it, HARBINGER OF THE TIMES, after the jump.

“We’re not even trying anymore. Why should we?”

Obviously, we’ve lived through difficult eras in the past and survived. Although, I’m not sure I want to be the one to explain to my grandkids as we sit on the hoverporch, looking out over the glinting, glittery expanse of water that covers the Earth, why people used to think it was OK to watch date rapists fight about pizza, or whatever. “When I was your age, ice cream only cost five dollars.” “What’s ice cream?” And personally, I think that giving douchebags TV shows only empowers them. And if we keep empowering them at this rate, they will soon become too empowerful, and we will no longer be able to emcontain them. That being said, I am obviously going to watch the FFFFFFF out of this.

I already hate everyone on this show so much! It’s great!