Duh Aficionado Magazine: 2012 Is Not A Documentary

Did you know that the world will not end in a fiery (and also watery. And also snowy?) Apocalpyse that can only be outrun via limousine in the year 2012? Of course you did. Because everyone knows that. Right? Not according to the genius bars over at NASA. From Reuters:

The world is not coming to an end on December 21, 2012, the US space agency insisted Monday in a rare campaign to dispel widespread rumors fuelled by the Internet and a new Hollywood movie.

The doomsday scenario revolves claims that the end of time will come as an obscure Planet X — or Nibiru — heads toward or collides into Earth.

The mysterious planet was supposedly discovered by the Sumerians, according to claims by pseudo-scientists, paranormal activity enthusiasts and Internet theorists.

Some websites accuse NASA of concealing the truth on the wayward planet’s existence, but the US space agency denounced such stories as an “Internet hoax.”

“There is no factual basis for these claims,” NASA said in a question-and-answer posting on its website.

If such a collision were real “astronomers would have been tracking it for at least the past decade, and it would be visible by now to the naked eye,” it added. “Obviously, it does not exist.”

“Credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012,” NASA insisted.

Wait, NASA is literally responding to trolls now. “We’d love to go to space, but our feelings were hurt by anonymous commenters!” The world is literally going to hell in an on-line message board. I hope the government-built rescue A.R.K.S are well-stocked with BRAWNDO!